Making good friends may seem tough, but keeping them may be tougher! Get my 10 tips on how to build a long-lasting relationship with your friends.

It can sometimes seem like a big task to make new friends and build a long-lasting relationship with them.

However, making that extra effort to maintain a healthy long-lasting relationship with your friend can be quite rewarding.

In my last post, I gave you some tips on how to make new friends.

Now you’ve made some great friends, and possibly thinking of how best to build and maintain a long-lasting relationship with them.

In a study conducted by the University of Michigan, it was discovered that relationships with quality friends are of similar or greater effect to those with family.

This, therefore, shows the value of having great friends around us.

Good friends make our moments great, and our lives a lot easier as they can be a great source of support during hard times.

With this, the importance of keeping good friends and maintaining a long-lasting relationship with them cannot be overemphasized.

Here are my 10 tips on how to build a long-lasting friendship.

1. Understand that some friendships don’t last forever

First of all, it’s important to understand that maintaining a lifelong friendship isn’t an easy task.

This is supported by a 2009 Dutch study which shows that majority of friendships only last about 7 years on an average.

This shows how tasking it can be to maintain a lifelong friendship.

You should therefore understand that some friendships only exist to achieve a specific purpose at a particular time in your life.

Some friends are naturally not meant to stay for long in your life, so do not get dramatic or disappointed when that friendship you both cherished begins to fade away.

This means that you should never force a relationship to continue.

A sure way to know when to let the friendship rest is by assessing the relationship.

If you have always been the one making all the effort to stay in contact, then this may be a red flag.

This could mean that your friend has lost interest in the friendship and has moved on to other things.

Don’t feel sad about this; instead, create time to spending time with other friends, and build other friendships.

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2. Be authentic

True friendship is based on the ability of both parties to accept each other for who they truly are.

It’s stupid to try to change your lifestyle for an activity you don’t enjoy doing just for the sake of having or maintaining new friends.

If you made that friend through faking it, it may be difficult for you to maintain a long-lasting relationship with the person, as he/she may eventually find out your true character.

Be true to yourself and the right person who shares common interests as yours will come along.

As John Lennon rightly stated; “Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it’ll always get you the right ones.”

Trust me, it’s way easier to build a long-lasting friendship with someone of like minds than with a friend whose values and interests are different from yours.

So, at the early stage of making new friends, be sure to avoid this long-lasting error.

Checkout: 7 Tips on How to Make New Friends

3. Be dependable

Where friends are always leaving each other hanging at critical times, such friendship is unlikely to last long.

Be someone that your friend can always count on when an urgent situation arises.

Be willing to help out that friend who is in need or struggling with something.

Where you can, show your friend that you are reliable. That friend is likely to return your kind gesture whenever you may be in need.

4. Have fun together

There are times when friendships start to get a little boring.

This is more so especially when you both have been experiencing some sad moments and all you do every time you see each other is share your latest worries.

It, therefore, becomes important to give the friendship a facelift by shaking up your routine.

You both should go out and have a nice time. Go out and try out new things that you both enjoy doing, and create some happy memories together.

It helps to sometimes let go of your worries by going out to catch some fun with that special friend.

5. Help out

Research has shown that social support boosts our mental health and softens the impact of stress.

Friendship isn’t all about hanging out and having fun together with the other person. There is also the need to be there for your friend.

So, to build a closer connection that could lead to a long-lasting relationship, always make sure to be there for the other person.

Helping out could be in an emotional capacity by being there to offer support when your friend is hurting and in need of a shoulder to cry on.

You could also be of help to your friend in other ways:

Offer to run some errands, fix the sink, do the chores, or help that friend move.

Even though this may be work, you are likely to enjoy your time since you are with someone you like.

Also, your friend will be greatly appreciative as these acts of service are seen as a show of love.

6. Create time

There may be no better way to show your friends just how important they are to you than to create time to be around them.

Let them see that regardless of your busy schedule, you still want to be around them.

Where you are quite far away from your friend, there is a need to chat, send emails, or leave messages as often as you can as this makes him/ her feel special and important in your life.

However, being around a friend or someone as often as possible isn’t a guarantee for a lasting friendship.

A study by Jeffrey Arthur, a communications professor at the University of Kansas, shows that merely talking to someone or being around someone a lot does not equate to friendship.

7. Forgive and forget unconditionally

It can be difficult for anyone to forgive a wrong done to them, especially if the wrong done is a betrayal from a friend.

However, your ability to forgive (without reservation) the wrongdoing of your friends shows your commitment to building deeper and stronger relationships.

We must learn to forgive little wrongdoings as this helps us grow into forgiving greater wrongdoings.

Be ready to forgive and forget, and give a second chance where possible.

8. Communicate with your friends

Lori Harder, author of A Tribe Called Bliss tells HelloGiggles;

“A million factors go into a lifelong friendship and no two friendships are alike, but there is one key thing that all ride-or-die friendships have in common – crystal clear communication”

One way to resolve a conflict between you and your friend is by having open communication with him/her, as poor communication can destroy any relationship.

It is wrong to always assume that your friends know whatever you are supposed to tell them.

You should understand that people only know what you tell them as they are incapable of reading minds.

Poor communication can destroy a relationship, as it is the gateway to our emotions which exposes our vulnerability.

True friendship works better where both parties are open to discussing sensitive issues that are crucial to talk about.

For the relationship to grow; discuss matters that bother you, be honest enough to let them know when they have wronged you, and let them know when they do something you love.

There is no better way for you both to get to know each other than through deep personal communication.

Checkout: 5 Ways to Improve Your Interpersonal Communication Skills

9. Gratitude and acknowledgments

One way to deepen your connection with that special friend is by showing gratitude and acknowledging the efforts of the other person.

These are different from compliments, as they go way deeper.

For example, saying “You have a kind heart” may be a nice thing to say, but it doesn’t have a deeper impact.

Say something like “I admire your decision to help that child locate her way home, even though we were running late for the test. It shows your willingness to go out of your way to help others”.

This has a much deeper impact.

10. Connect more often

According to a Licensed professional counselor, Kailee Place, keeping in touch with friends by asking about their life is one of the easiest and yet the toughest thing to do to maintain a friendship.

Reaching out to that friend as often as possible shows just how much you value the friendship, and how much you care about them.

Never keep track of whose turn it is to make the next phone call, or send the next text message or email.

Learn to reach out to others without expecting anything in return. Where you are giving with the hope of getting something in return, you are likely to get nothing.

Reaching out to that friend as often as possible shows how much you care, and a reasonable friend is expected to appreciate the friendship more as a result.

Conclusion

Maintaining friendships especially during life-changing events like graduating from college, or moving to a new place isn’t always easy and requires some level of effort.

However, when you find that friend with whom you can share that special trust and bond, your effort may be worth it.

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