It is stressful and time-wasting to be in a relationship with someone that adds no value to your life. Such a relationship can have a damaging impact on your goals and dreams. This article highlights five ways to remove toxic people from your life.
If left uncheck, a toxic relationship can alter the trajectory of your life.
What you must also understand is that a toxic relationship not only impacts you, but it also eventually begins to affect your relationship with other people.
A friend may become less willing to hang out with you when they notice that you are always with someone who is toxic.
With the poisonous effect of toxic relationships in mind, let’s now consider the 5 ways that you can get rid of toxic people from your life.
1. Spot the harm
Indeed, this is your first step to getting rid of the toxic people in your life.
You cannot find a solution to a problem you don’t know exists, right?
Identifying the toxic people in your life and the level of harm caused help you draft the best tactic to get rid of them.
Some toxic relationships may allow for a slow and gradual withdrawal from these toxic individuals.
In another circumstance, an urgent or instant termination of the may be needed considering the severity of the harm caused.
It can be a little difficult to identify toxic people as most of them often present themselves as wolves in sheep’s clothing.
You can check out the 7 smart ways to identify toxic people.
Tara Mackey, founder of The Organic Life and author of Cured by Nature also gives a highlight on how to identify toxic people.
“Toxic people are often selfish and manipulative. They are impossible to work with and difficult to please even when you are trying to be of help. They have a hard time apologizing or owning their feelings, and will repeatedly make you prove yourself to them.”
Certainly, toxic people distract us from our true purpose, and spotting them early can be of great benefit to us and those directly affected by our actions.
Think Fast Speak Smart
2. Learn to say No
If you are very giving and selfless, you may feel it’s inconsiderate and insensitive to turn people down.
It’s not your fault, as this only reflects your commitment to seeing well in everyone regardless of their negative intents.
You may even feel like you have done something wrong by saying No to people.
Nonetheless, where you decide to say No to requests, especially from toxic people, stand firm to your word.
It is okay and fulfilling to say No to people who you consider their requests to be toxic to your purpose or wellbeing.
This shows your ability to reject things that you find incompatible with your lifestyle.
Saying no to things you are not comfortable with can sometimes be challenging.
However, you should get comfortable in no time with practice, as this helps you avoid unforeseen drama.
3. Make yourself unavailable
Most times, toxic people only get the chance to influence you negatively when you make yourself available to them.
By making yourself available, you subject your mind and emotions to their toxic manipulations.
By becoming unavailable, they are forced to take their negative influence elsewhere.
As stated by Los Angeles relationship therapist Barrie Sueskind, “Toxic people can often sense who they can manipulate. They move on when their tactics fail to work on you.”
So, when confirming your unavailability, expect some outright accusations and mind games aimed at making you feel bad or guilty.
However, avoid giving a retaliating response no matter how provoked you get.
4. Spend more time with positive people
Another sure way to silently get rid of toxic people in your life is to avoid crossing paths with them.
So, spend more time with people who are of positive influence in your life.
This way, you make yourself unavailable and indisposed to be influenced negatively by toxic people.
Since we generally enjoy our time with people who positively influence us, spending more of our time with such people leaves little or no time for toxic affairs.
However, expect constructive criticism from people who genuinely care about you and avoid seeing it as a toxic influence.
Remember, feedback (positive or negative) is necessary for effective interpersonal communication.
5. Set clear boundaries
As stated by Tara Mackey,
“Toxins have to be met with a powerful force. They won’t simply respond to ‘Go away’ and will likely dig their claws deeper where you attempt to create a separation. Don’t be discouraged by this.”
By setting a clear limit between you and the other person, it becomes difficult for them to engage you on matters that have been restricted.
Going beyond their limit would amount to disrespect for the established boundary.
By setting boundaries, you allow them to affect your life only to the extent you permit them.
Their failure to respect your boundaries further reemphasizes how toxic and disrespectful they are.
So, avoid being around such a toxic person by having clearly defined boundaries.
According to Tara Mackey, “If you told yourself you won’t reply to their texts, don’t. Block their number and avoid them on social media. Do not send them any e-mails and avoid checking six months from now.”
The strictness of the limit set may be dependent on the seriousness of the circumstance.
Conclusion
It can be both relieving and rewarding to get rid of the toxic people in our lives as relationships or friendships of this nature can distract from our true purpose.
Whether gradually or immediately, make an effort to identify and eliminate the toxic relationships in your life, as this would benefit you and others connected to you.