How to get an introvert out of the house

Successfully getting an introvert out of the house remains one of the most difficult things to do. But it doesn’t always have to be that way. Here are my seven tips to help you achieve this.

Just last week, I received a mail from an extroverted fan that reads;

“My best friend is an introvert. She complains about not being able to leave her house, even though she consistently declines my invitations.

“I’ve invited her out maybe three times in the last month, and she’s declined all three.

“All my effort to get her out of the house has proven abortive; I need your advice on how best to get her to come out of her shell to socialize.”

My advice

You see, it can be very tricky and difficult to get an introvert to come out of their shell to socialize.

This is because introverts thrive when they are in solitude and are not always at their best when they are out in public.

So trying to get them to hang out would seem like taking them out of their comfort zone.

This explains why they are likely to say no when you invite them to that birthday party, club event, or gala-night.

They are just not comfortable being in public, especially in one filled with strangers and small talkers!

Therefore, to get them out of the house, you will need to get tactical and deliberate with your words.

Give them a reason to go out and the assurance that it’s okay to leave the event whenever they want to.

Now, here are my seven tips to help you get that introvert out of the house.

How to get an introvert to hang out

1. Text them, don’t call

It is common knowledge that introverts enjoy and prefer texting to talk.

This means that it will be very difficult to get an introvert by phone call to hang out with you.

For introverts, telephone conversations aren’t their favorite mode of communication.

It sometimes annoys them, and they probably won’t accept your invitation if you call them.

So, when trying to make plans with an introvert and they are unavailable in person, ensure to send in a text instead of a phone call.

Compared to a phone call, they see text to be less intrusive as they won’t have to give an immediate response.

It also gives them the time to process their thought and reply without feeling pressured.

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2. Ensure the environment is introvert-friendly

Introverts are more likely to go out of the house and socialize when the place is one where they can easily blend in without having to do much work.

Introverts don’t enjoy being in a loud place filled with large groups of people.

So the idea of inviting them to a crowded bar with noisy, drunken people will not appeal to them.

That won’t happen as they hate environments in which they are no personal space, can’t hear the people around them, and must shout to be heard.

So, if you want them to hang out with you, it should be in an environment that encourages conversation.

If the place is relaxed, chill, and introvert-friendly, they are more likely to get out of the house.

Some great picks for introverts are a cool lounge with good music, the cinema, an outdoor bonfire, or a restaurant with the right vibe (not too loud or crowded)

3. Assure them of no small talk

We all know how much introverts hate to make small talks, which is one of the reasons they hate going out anyways.

So, the assurance of protection from any potential small talker will make them feel more relaxed, protected, and more willing to want to go out.

Assure them that you are perfectly fine carrying any drops in the conversation, and promise to keep the dinner to a minimum.

Do this and they will realize that going out of the house isn’t as bad as they earlier pictured in their head.

4. Give them enough time to prepare

When someone recommends anything to an introvert at the last minute, especially if they are already excited to fall back to their comfort zone (home), they are very likely to decline.

You must understand that putting them in a last-minute social setting is not one of their strong suits as they simply find it stressful and exhausting.

Introverts need enough time to prepare for a hang out as they see it as a lot of work that requires a lot of self-motivation to achieve.

You must also consider when you want the meet-up or hang-out to happen.

The timing is very important since introverts need a period of recovery between every social interaction.

They get tired easily so they need to give themselves time between encounters to avoid burning out.

This means that they are likely to say no to the last-minute invite when they are already booked for the weekend, or where they have spent a long day at work.

They always need to recover before their next social engagement which makes it more important to give them sufficient notice and time to prepare.

5. Ensure there are recognized faces in the room

Introverts don’t hang out with many people.

They are always happy with their small circle of friends. For them, it’s quality over quantity.

To them, being popular is exhausting and too much to handle!

So, to successfully get them out of the door, the group needs to be small with people they are comfortable with.

They don’t like being in a large group mostly filled with strangers. Neither do they like big parties.

Too many people mean their night will be filled with crowds, small talk, and noise (the worst thing for an introvert) – all things that drain them.

To successfully get them out, they need to be around familiar people.

Understand that introverts are naturally reserved and private; they don’t warm up to new people easily.

So please don’t invite individuals they don’t know and expect them to just go along with it.

The truth is, when they are around strangers, they can’t relax and be themselves.

And if other introverts would be present at the event, let them know as that might motivate them to get out there.

6. Assure them of the freedom to leave anytime

Even when an introvert may be having a nice time, they will eventually reach their limit and suddenly feel like going home!

At this stage, it won’t be fair to ask them to stay a little longer.

You must understand that when they are ready to go now, getting them to stay a little longer would only make things worse.

Be ready to not insist, and just be thankful they made the effort to come out in the first place.

So, if you are looking to get them to hang out, you need to give them the guarantee that they can leave whenever they feel like leaving.

They need to have the freedom to leave when they are ready without anyone making them feel guilty.

Understand that when an introvert’s battery becomes empty, they become irritated, annoyed, or out of sort which makes it important for them to go home and recharge.

So, getting them to stay a little longer will only get them to fume and ultimately develop that introvert hangover.

They will also become less likely to accept your future invitations since they know you will make them feel bad for trying to go home.

7. Do not force them

If an introvert still chooses not to go out despite your effort, it’s best to respect their decision and not try to force them.

Trust me, forcing them to do something they do not want to do won’t be fun for anyone as you would wish they didn’t come. You don’t want that.

Respect their decision and try again some other time.

Conclusion

Getting an introvert to come out of their comfort zone to hang out with us requires a good level of diplomacy, patience, and understanding.

Avoid rushing or forcing the process, as doing so would only ruin your chances.

Instead, give them an interesting reason to want to hang out and enough time to process your invitation, and learn to respect their decision, whether positive or negative.

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