It is heartbreaking to get friend-zoned by the one whom your heart desires. Do not be discouraged as I shall be showing you my five strategies to help you get off the friend zone.

In a research conducted by Lemay and Wolf, it was shown that individuals who were highly attracted to their friends overestimate how much their friends like them.

This means that as humans, we think it’s easier to get our friend to become our lover than it is to get that new crush to say yes to us.

Well, that is not always the case.

However, a study shows that over two-thirds of romantic relationships started as platonic friendships.

“Platonic friendship” is a close bond between two people who are not dating or having a sexual relationship. They are simply friends and nothing more.

This study gives you the hope that you still have the opportunity of establishing a romantic relationship with that friend.

Reasons why you became friend-zoned

People end up in the friend zone for different reasons.

By becoming friends at first

It could be that the person they are interested in has been their crush even before they became friends.

But instead of making a direct approach to making their intentions known, they chose to get closer to them by becoming friends, with the hope of gaining their love later.

Now they see you as a “great friend” but struggle to see you romantically.

Originally friends but starting to want more

It could also be that you were originally cool with being just friends, but over time, you start to develop some emotional and romantic feelings towards them.

Whichever the situation, there are different tricks that you can pull to go from being just friends with them to become romantically connected.

What is the “friend zone”?

This is a situation that normally involves 2 friends, with one of them looking to become romantically involved with the other, but the other having an unreciprocated romantic interest.

According to Psychology Today, the friend zone is a situation where one person in a friendship develops more intense feelings and wants to become more than just friends with the other person.

How to get out of the friend zone

1.  Become scarce and unavailable

Yeah, disappear!

This is probably the first step to take after you hear your crush say those heartbreaking words like; “We can’t date, you are just like a sibling to me”.

Humans naturally value that which is hard to find, and they start to crave for it after a while.

This creates room for them to miss you and value you more.

According to Robert Cialdini in his book Influence: Science and Practice, when something is rare or taken away from us, we tend to value it more.

He called this the ‘principle of scarcity.

Your absence in their life increases your overall value which could get them to start seeing you in a different light.

Becoming scarce goes beyond just becoming less available or pulling away.

It also involves being emotionally unavailable.

So, if they contact you for that regular group hangout, politely decline.

However, do not stay away for too long as this may cause more harm than good.

The goal here is to get them to start seeing you differently, not to get them to fall in love with you or forget you!.

2. Make them jealous by creating some competition

This is a step that is quite risky and requires caution.

The goal is to get your crush to see you hanging out with someone else in the hope that it induces in them the thought of losing you to someone else.

Go out and meet new people, preferably those of the opposite sex, and talk about your new friends with your friend.

However, do not give your friend the idea that you are in a relationship with that other person as they may just be quite happy for you.

3. Get them to invest in you

According to The Marginalian, “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you have obliged.”

This reminds me of the “Benjamin Franklin Effect” which shows that as humans we grow to like people whom we do nice things for more than those who do things for us.

By getting them to invest more in the relationship, your value begins to increase in their eye and you start to mean more to them.

4. Maintain eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful tool for building an emotional connection with anyone.

As the popular saying goes, the eyes are the pathway to the soul.

And guess what, research shows that even a blind person can sense and respond to eye contact.

This demonstrates the powerful impact of making eye contact.

According to the Science of People, our feeling for someone tends to intensify when we maintain eye contact with them.

Procomm Ltd. says that when two people maintain eye contact, their brains register a quick and powerful connection powered by the thinking and emotional areas of the brain.

When you are alone with him/her, look deep into their eyes when you talk and accompany it with a genuine smile.

Doing this will likely build that much-needed romantic tension.

However, do not overdo this as it may make you come off as creepy or awkward.

5. Flirt with them

This is probably the most difficult part for most people.

But then, it remains important for building that emotional connection and sexual attraction.

So yea, tease them, touch their hands, and compliment them genuinely and sensually.

People do this wrongly a lot, so avoid overdoing this as doing it the wrong way would further ruin your chance of getting them.

Conclusion

It can be heartbreaking to have someone who you are in love with to only see you as a friend.

However, by following the tips explained above, you should be able to ultimately get them to fall in love with you. 

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