The Art of The Handshake

The art of the handshake! Have you ever had a handshake that left you thinking, “What in the world was that?” Maybe the participant’s hand was wet, or there was barely a grip, one that signals disinterest. You most likely did not forget the experience in a hurry. The way you shake hands can leave a positive or negative first impression. Research by Sanda Dolcos et al. in the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience confirms the correlation between a good handshake and a positive first impression.

Maybe that’s why the last Thursday of June is the national handshake day.

If the handshake is important in the world of communication, then it is reasonable to understand why we shake hands and how to do it effectively.

A brief history of the handshake

Handshake, which is now a common western tradition, has been in existence for centuries. The art of handshaking practiced for the first time in ancient Greece. This art dates as far back as the 5th century as a gesture of peace. Shaking of hands was a demonstration that shows that your hands are empty and that you don’t have hidden weapons. There are suggestions that the up and down movement of the hands was a way to dislodge any hidden weapons. Weapons like knives and daggers.

This ancient art of shaking hands has evolved over centuries to become common practice in today’s world. Handshaking happens in multiple settings. We shake hands almost anywhere, at networking events, at birthday parties, at wedding ceremonies, in church, to mention a few. Handshakes could be with friends, strangers, acquaintances, colleagues, business partners, and etc.

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A different meaning for different people

It is also important to mention that the significance, meaning, and approach to a handshake is different from culture to culture.

For example, in the Middle East, a handshake between men and women is strongly discouraged. Women are, in some cases, prohibited to shake hands. It is also the case in Russia. In Russia, handshakes are performed mostly by men and not so much by women.

Also, while a traditional handshake in the united states is firm, countries like Turkey and Korea give a not-so-firm or weak handshake. A firm handshake could be considered disrespectful in Korea. In India, you see more of the Nameste gesture, as opposed to a handshake.

It is important to take note of how people view handshake when you are among foreigners. You don’t want to come across as disrespectful or rude.

Since handshake is a common practice in western culture, it is necessary to understand why we do it and how to do it correctly.

Why we shake hands

You don’t want to go around shaking random individuals because you feel like it. A handshake should be intentional and meaningful. The following are some of the reasons we shake hands

Meeting/greeting– When we meet someone new and wish to familiarize ourselves with them, we shake hands, coupled with a “Hi’, “Hello,” “Nice to meet you,” etcetera.

As a parting tradition– Just as we shake hands as a form of introduction, it is also a way of saying goodbye or see you later. 

Saying congratulations– This reminds me of a convocation ceremony. The deans of students or sometimes the chancellor of institutions of higher learning shake hands with graduands as a way of saying congratulations. There are several other examples where we shake someone’s hands to congratulate them.

Saying thanks– you can go beyond just saying thank you verbally to shaking hands with someone who has expressed some form of kind gesture towards you. It shows a deeper level of appreciation/gratitude.

Business/Diplomatic agreement– you see this all the time. World leaders, after deliberation on diplomatic issues, shake hands at the end to publicly indicate some agreement. It is also applicable in business, especially after a negotiation. 

Good sportsmanship– A tennis player was once heavily criticized after failing to shake hands with his opponent after a game. Such actions are often condemned and tagged as poor sportsmanship.

These are popular examples that portray the intentions of a handshake. You must also remember that in all these situations, you convey a message of trust, respect, equality,  and balance.

The second level of meaning in the subject of handshakes is how we do it. Although it is a common practice, a lot of people screw it up by shaking hands in a manner that conveys a weak personality. Just so you don’t fall in this category, check out the dos and don’ts of handshakes.

Dos of Handshake

Use your right hands – Be respectful and use your right hands, except there is a good reason not to do so, like cases of injuries or if you are an amputee.

Establish eye contact first – You want to establish eye contact before you attempt to shake hands. Failure to do this could result in a situation where you are left hanging.

Have a firm grip – Having a firm grip is a display of your level of confidence.

Make sure your hands are clean and dry – It is not only embarrassing but also leaves a negative impression in the mind of others.

Keep it brief– You want to keep it at an average of three pumps (up and down movements)

Extend arms to meet halfway– You could be the one initiating the handshake, but you must remember this: a handshake should be mutual. Don’t overreach.  

Make sure you are within reach before giving or receiving a handshake

Don’ts of Handshake

Don’t overdo your firmness of grip– While it is important to have a firm grip, don’t overdo it to the point where it’s unbearable for the recipient.

Don’t give a handshake from the side– Giving a handshake from the side is another way to leave yourself hanging. Make sure you are standing in front of whoever you want to shake, make eye contact, and then shake hands.

Don’t give a handshake while sitting down, except both parties are sitting.

Don’t pull the arm of the other person; It is not a fighting match. Pulling the other person is disrespectful.

The art of shaking hands is an ancient tradition that is now a common practice. But before you extend your hand to shake, you should understand the meaning and significance of that art and, most importantly, don’t screw it up.

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