Self-respect is the foundation upon which all your actions and decisions are based upon. Respect yourself and others will respect you.
“The most important relationship you have in life is the one you have with yourself.” ~Diane von Furstenberg.
Self-respect determines how you treat yourself and how others perceive you.
And a lot of people wonder if self-respect is crucial for happiness. The answer is yes!
It is believed that the key to happiness lies in good health, relationships and wealth. However, while these elements are essential in your journey towards greater fulfillment, they constitute only a part of the equation.
Self-respect is crucial to developing strong self-worth and self-esteem.
What Is Self-Respect?
Self-respect is simply the regard an individual has for themselves that makes them act in a manner that enhances their value.
Self-respect implies having confidence in oneself as well as displaying honorable, graceful, and dignified behavior.
Healthy self-respect is having a good understanding and appreciation of the traits and specialties that belong to your true self.
It also means that you understand how to make life choices and decisions independently, based on your personality.
Self-respect is essential because it is the reward you give yourself even when you feel low or lose motivation.
It can be tempting to want to seek approval from others; however, you should always be motivated to live a life that is authentic to your values and personality.
Self-respect is also about understanding your strengths and weaknesses, as well as how to set boundaries for yourself.
An understanding of these components is crucial for building your self-respect and establishing successful relationships with others.
How Is Self-Respect Different from Self-Esteem?
Self-respect and self-esteem are closely related, but they are not the same. There exists a vast difference between these two concepts.
Self-respect refers to pride and confidence in oneself. It is a feeling that one is behaving with dignity and honor.
Self-esteem refers to a person’s overall opinion of themself.
It is an individual’s appreciation of their abilities, skills, and limitations.
The key difference between self-respect and self-esteem is that while self-respect focuses on an individual for who he is, self-esteem focuses on the value you give to your abilities and skills.
Self-respect is all about being able to look yourself in the mirror and be okay with the person you see.
It is about being okay with what you do in the real world, especially when out with others.
When you respect what you do, other people can sense that, and then they respect you too.
Conversely, when you fail to respect what you do out in the world, people pick up on that too.
Why Is Self-Respect Important?
1. It Builds Self-Confidence
Self-respect fills an individual with a sense of confidence and competence.
This is important as self-confidence is what you need to establish and maintain healthy relationships with yourself and others.
A self-respected person understands his or her values, what they stand for, and follows them confidently.
2. Help avoid unnecessary comparisons
With self-respect and self-love, you will not feel the need to compare yourself with someone else.
You learn to appreciate yourself, your skills, talents, abilities, and capabilities.
And you won’t feel jealous when those around you make progress in life.
3. Sets clear boundaries for every area of your life
A common trait of someone with self-respect is the ability to say no to things he no longer finds emotionally, financially, and mentally appealing.
He simply knows when and where to draw the line.
Developing self-respect is about identifying your values, understanding your worth, and standing up for yourself when necessary.
4. Helps maintain healthy relationships
Self-respect plays a major role in achieving and maintaining healthy relationships.
Respect must be present for love to thrive.
As it is the foundation upon which strong and healthy relationships stand.
You can influence how others perceive you, by simply accepting yourself as a person deserving of love despite all your flaws and weaknesses.
Understanding your values and respecting yourself is important, as you will not allow others to treat you badly or without respect.
This helps you to show strong character and the willingness to accept responsibility for your life and actions.
How to Develop Self-Respect
Building self-respect can take time, but it is highly rewarding.
To succeed, you need a combination of factors such as respect, spirituality, self-acceptance, self-worth, self-love, focus, forgiveness, and assertiveness.
1. Get super clear on your values
Most people go through their whole life without an idea of what they truly value.
Most people act the same way as other family and friends, and just do the same things that they do.
Or they just go and ask people for their opinions on what they should be doing and so on.
Because they do not know what they truly value, their actions and behaviors are not authentic. It is fake.
They try to conform for the sake of conforming and fit in for the sake of fitting in.
When you sell out on your values and you do something different from what you truly believe, you lose your self-respect.
So it’s important to know what you truly value.
Values are unique to each individual.
For me, some of my values include freedom, self-sufficiency, and independence.
And when I don’t feel those things, I feel bad about myself.
2. Stop worrying about what people think
Start living your life per your values and stop worrying about what other people think or have to say.
Other people’s opinion about you is very dangerous.
When people give you their opinions they are not telling you what they think about you.
What they are doing is talking about them by projecting their thoughts, feelings, and values onto you.
So you must develop a filter so you don’t let other people’s thoughts implant self-doubt in your head.
You must understand that not all advice or opinion (even if well-intended) is good for you.
This is because your values may not be in alignment with theirs.
And instead of understanding this, a lot of people disagree, criticize and fail to respect the fact that you are living per your values.
Trying to please everyone is the quickest way to losing self-respect. So don’t do it.
3. Keep your word
Learn to keep your word to yourself and others.
Also, get real comfortable with saying “NO” to people.
There is a saying that I like. It’s something Marie Forleo said.
She calls it ‘Getting on the NO train.’ Feel free to check it out.
Here is the cool thing about the word “NO.”
Saying it allows you to assert your values and stand up for what you believe in.
Conversely, if you say you are going to do something, then do it.
Doing otherwise reduces your level of respect.
When you make it clear to yourself and others what you will and will not tolerate, it impacts your self-respect.
4. Be assertive
This is the ability to stand up for yourself and other peoplecalmlyandpositively without being aggressive.
An assertive individual can get his point across without upsetting others.
When you respect yourself, you will not allow others to control or manipulate you.
Learn to speak up when you feel disrespected, and consider revising your social circle when necessary.
5. Learn from your mistakes
Everybody makes mistakes. So it’s a complete waste of time to beat yourself up over something that you did years ago.
There is absolutely nothing you can do about it, what is done is done.
So what do you do about your past mistakes?
You simply learn from them and vow never to repeat them.
Take your past experiences and write them off as a stage of development that got you to where you are today.
Be grateful for your past mistakes.
More tips to building your self-respect:
- Be kind to yourself, and avoid negative self-talk
- Evaluate and discover what makes you respect yourself
- Clearly define your boundaries and stay true to them
- Get involved in things you have passion for
- Be true to your moral values
- choose relationships that promote mutual respect
Conclusion
A person with self-respect treats others the same way they would want to be treated.
When they are treated poorly by another person, they talk with them about it, or they consider distancing themselves from that individual.
Conversely, a person without self-respect not only tolerates this kind of treatment but is quick to excuse it, or simply believe he deserves it.
If you have never thought about self-respect before, now is the time to decide on holding yourself responsible to your standards and values.
Your opinion
I hope you find this post helpful. For any questions or contributions, kindly comment below.
This article was contributed by Godwin Amanyi.
