7 Tips on How to Make New Friends

Are you looking to make new friends and connect with new people? Learn my 7 tips on how to meet new people and become friends with them.

Human beings are largely social creatures with the constant desire to meet new people and make new connections.

When we were kids, making new friends was a lot easier than it is now.

You are now a full-grown adult, and all your friends have moved away or maybe some of them just don’t share the same values or interests with you anymore.

It could also be that you just moved to a new place, and you are looking to meet and connect with new people.

You may also be an introvert, who has stayed indoors for most of your life and is not used to making friends.

Whatever your reason, just know that making friends isn’t as difficult as you think, as you have subconsciously been making friends all your life.

However, understand that making new friends may take time.  According to a 2018 study, it takes 200 hours to create a close connection with another person.

Here are my 7 tips for you on how to make new friends.

1. Know what kind of friends you need

Before you go out in search of new friends, it is important to understand yourself and the kind of people you would love to have around you.

Attempt to ask yourself or list out the qualities you need in a friend.

Is your ideal friend expected to be funny, a lover of sport, or just someone mature enough to give you life advice?

Understanding yourself also means understanding the positive qualities that you have to offer to the other person.

This helps you and the other person determine if you two are a match for each other. Remember that friendship is a two-way street.

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2. Find people with common interests

As simple as this may sound, people often forget about it.

Finding groups who share similar interests and hobbies with you in your city or area may not be as difficult as you think.

You don’t have to go through the stress of physically touring the city in search of these groups, as these sets of people can be found using online platforms like social media.

Some of these social media platforms include Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Indeed, social media is a place where you can find people of similar interests who are open to meeting new people.

3. Show up

According to famous comedian and director Woody Allen, “Eighty percent of success is showing up”.

Showing up at the right place and time is a big step to making that new friend.

It is important to take the chance to meet new people whenever the opportunity comes.

Visit the gym, go to parties, join a church group (If you attend a church), join a group on meet-up. Simply show up at places where you can meet people of like minds.

Make sure to transition these online social connections to real-life physical connections. This is because nothing can take the place of a physical meeting and connection.

In a study of 1,700 people between the ages of 19-32 years, it was discovered that frequent social media users were also 3 times likely to feel socially lonely or isolated.

Another study also shows that an online relationship isn’t as satisfying as a physical relationship.

4. Focus on others, not yourself

People hate connecting with someone who is self-centered.

Solely focusing on yourself without showing interest in others may be a big turn-off to anybody trying to connect with you.

You should therefore learn to show interest in the thoughts, experiences, and feelings of others as this shows that you genuinely care about them.

By showing sincere concern toward others, you are likely to connect better with people and make more friends as a result.

Loneliness or boredom should never be your reason for wanting to make new friends.

Try to know the other person better, as this gives you the confidence to meet more people and start in-depth conversations with them.

Checkout: The Best Ways to Start a Conversation with a Stranger

5. Be yourself

Imagine, you are an introvert who enjoys spending time with friends indoors rather than going out to parties or clubs.

You then see a group of extroverts who are fun lovers and are never afraid to visit public places.

You admire their lifestyle and would like to become their friend.

To avoid coming off as unfit for the group, you decide to wear the look of an extrovert who enjoys visiting public places and events.

Now, your new friends invite you to a birthday party with lots of people.

You are left wondering how best to manage the situation as refusing the invitation would be inconsistent with your perceived personality.

The worst decision you may ever make is to change yourself to make new friends.

Changing your originality to be seen as an ideal friend may become counterproductive to the friendship in the long run.

This means that when you finally become friends with them, you may need to keep up that character to avoid being perceived as fake!

Your friends may feel cheated and may gradually drift away.

Be authentic to yourself and others as you learn that true friendship is built on trust with both parties accepting each other for who they truly are.

6. Smile always

A beautiful smile can be positively contagious, as it is a simple yet powerful way to connect with people.

A 2015 study shows that people are more responsive to positive emotions than to negative emotions like frowns, sadness, or anger.

So, if you are that person who is always frowning even when around others, I recommend you start smiling.

Smiling communicates positive emotions and feelings.

People are likely to respond positively to positive emotions rather than to negative emotions.

This means, sharing a smiley or happy moment with someone increases your chance of becoming friends with them.

7. Keep in touch

After your first meeting, it’s easy to tell if either of you is looking forward to getting together for the second time.

If you genuinely felt the connection between you two the first time, there is no wrong in reaching out and suggesting a second meeting.

You should understand the mere exposure effect which explains that when a person becomes familiar with someone, they tend to like that person better.

This means that when you meet with someone frequently, you are much more likely to become friends with that person.

You do not want to move too fast, don’t be too cool either. Just be yourself.

Depending on your schedule, and that of the other person, the meeting may not happen until after a few weeks.

Nonetheless, ensure to stay in constant touch, but avoid being a stalker as this may make you appear desperate.

Conclusion

When we were kids, we made friends without thinking about it. It now seems like the older we get the more complicated the process becomes.

Making friends as an adult may seem tough, but that is not the case.

We only have to put in a little more effort to creating that new bond since our lives get busier as we grow older.

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I hope you find these tips helpful.

If you have a proven tip on how to make new friends, do let me know in the comment below.

This article was contributed by Godwin Amanyi.

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