As introverts, we often struggle to find motivation or reasons to go out and socialize with others.
Despite this, we still love to have a lively family and a great circle of friends to spend some quality time with.
This makes it a wrong conclusion to think we hate spending time with people simply because we do not like to socialize.
Here are some 7 tips to help you become more social as an introvert.
1. Find an exciting reason to go out
There’s no right way to put yourself out there. It’s fine if you don’t go out every other night or accept all of those Facebook event invitations.
Understand that you have no obligation to live up to other people’s expectations, which includes how you spend your time.
If you’re having trouble distinguishing between what you want and what others are telling you to want, consider the following questions:
Is it anything I’m looking forward to doing with this person or attending this event?
Will it be enjoyable for me to meet up with them?
Do I feel bad about disappointing people or being labeled as antisocial?
Here’s when you should pay attention to your gut reaction. While being close to others has its advantages, it’s critical to do so on your terms and in a way that feels psychologically supportive.
2. Engage in conversations
Now that you are ready to make new friends and open up a little more, it may be helpful to learn how to make small talk or start a conversation at the next group dinner you’re invited to.
But how do you do it?
Well, for a start, know that the person next to you is probably feeling the same way as you are. So you are not alone.
Professor Bernardo Carducci, of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast, estimates that 40 percent of adults and teens identify themselves as shy.
When approaching others, having a few ice breakers on hand can help you feel more confident.
Do not be afraid of listening most of the time as some of the greatest conversations happen when we give the other person the floor to express their thoughts and interest.
This should be a good place to start since most people love to talk about themselves.
3. Interact with strangers
A 2014 study discovered that interacting with a diverse network of people daily contributes to our overall well-being.
Nothing beats getting to know the people around you as it makes you feel like you are part of a community.
For one thing, it provides a sense of belonging. It also allows you the opportunity to turn acquaintances into closer friends.
Begin a spontaneous conversation with your bartender the next time you order a glass of wine.
Also, learn to inquire about your neighbor’s day as little acts like this sure help with your transition to a social introvert.
While this may appear casual and insignificant, there is a science to validate your acts.
4. Make a list of questions for small talk.
“The ultimate confidence builder is preparedness.” Lombardi, Vince
So you despise small talk? I also detested small talks more!.
We often think it’s inconvenient and pointless, but that isn’t the case.
Small talks are the warm-up everyone needs to learn more about one another before getting into the deeper discussions.
When meeting someone new, come up with a few introductory questions to enable you to learn more about them. For example,
What do you do for a living?
What do you do for fun?
What courses are you enrolled in at school?
Why did you decide to study law?
What aspects of your profession do you enjoy the most?
These are great questions to ask especially if they don’t like their job or course of study.
By asking them casual introductory questions and showing genuine interest in people, you will start breaking down the barrier that keeps you in the small talk zone.
5. Host a brunch monthly.
Invite your friends and family over for a special meal and spend quality time interacting and engaging with one another. This is a delightful way to spend quality time with loved ones where you can laugh, speak, and reminisce.
If you don’t care for brunch, consider throwing a casual dinner party instead. Make the most of it by connecting and practicing your communication abilities.
6. Be generous with compliments.
If you’re in doubt about what to say, just say something kind.
The correct words, when used at the appropriate time to initiate a conversation can brighten someone’s day.
According to studies, giving compliments increases our life pleasure.
So, telling a coworker how much you appreciate their clothes or complimenting them on their presentation is a terrific approach to connect.
So, to avoid appearing fake, make sure you’re being sincere.
Here are some tips on how to send someone a compliment:
- Pay attention to what you truly admire about someone so you may say what you mean.
- Don’t make yourself too evident. Take note of the minor details that distinguish someone so that your comment stands out.
- Avoid clichés or platitudes. Don’t say the same thing to everyone or appreciate their appearance. Instead, concentrate on personality traits or peculiarities.
7. Choose Your Social Rituals Carefully
Since your instinct does not naturally lead you to socialize, you must take action and create a set of settings that will enable you to be more social without having to think too much about it.
By setting social rituals, such as a weekly one, you remind yourself to spend an hour following up with individuals you already know.
A monthly ritual allows you to meet new people.
You can take an hour each week to text, phone, or email people you have an active friendship with or people you recently met and want to meet again.
This is thanks to your weekly ritual, which is nothing more than a reminder in your calendar.
It allows you to complete everything at once and enjoy the remainder of your week without worrying about ignoring others.
8. Model your behavior after that of liked people.
Positive feedback from others is important if you wish to become more social.
And there are several traits that all likable people have so try incorporating some of these interpersonal communication skills.
• Make a lot of smiles. There isn’t a single person on the planet who doesn’t appreciate a genuine smile. Train in front of the mirror every day if you’re not used to it.
• Speak loudly and clearly so that others can understand what you’re saying.
• When people talk to you, ask them questions and keep track of what they’re saying. It will positively raise their ego since everyone wants to be heard.
• Seek guidance from others. They enjoy being affirmed and valued.
• Ask open-ended questions to keep the dialogue from being trapped on “yes” or “no” answers.
9. Ask simple questions and bring up topics you’re interested in.
Yes, I know just how much people love to talk about themselves, but sometimes you just have to be the one in that talking position to build your self-confidence as quickly as possible.
Author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, Susan Cain, advises you start with specific questions that lead to something intriguing, such as:
What do you like to do on the weekends?
What’s a project you’re currently working on that you’re extremely excited about?
Taking greater responsibility in social interactions has the advantage of allowing introverts to choose the people and topics they find engaging, lowering the danger of boredom and withdrawal.
This is according to proud introvert and founder of Introvert Dear, Jenn Granneman.
10. Find a sociable hobby.
Look for people in your region who share your interests. Do you know how to play the guitar? Perhaps you might attend an open mic night or look through the musician’s classifieds.
It’s easier to increase your social circle by associating with people who share your interests.
Toastmasters is a great organization to join (there’s one in practically every city). It’s a typical people’s club that meets once or twice a month to practice public speaking.
The content of your speech is entirely up to you, and the people in the clubs are very friendly and polite, so if you have stage fright, be rest assured that you will not receive any negative feedback as everyone is there for the same reason.
For some introverts, this may be too big of a step, but it’s well worth the effort!
11. Show up more
Being more present will make you feel less awkward.
To Cain, the most important thing you can do as an introvert with all of these skills is to change your mindset.
This means you’re there, you’re attuned, you’re paying attention, and you want to hear what the other person has to say.
To her, the more you get into that mentality, the less awkward you’ll naturally be.
Granneman elaborates on this, saying, it’s important to keep in mind that no two introverts are the same.
Some people pass for outgoing extroverts, while others take a long time to warm up to strangers. Others suffer from social anxiety or shyness, some people don’t.
He concludes by saying that there is no incorrect way to be, no matter what type of person you are—so take your pick from these suggestions and do what works for you.
Conclusion
As introverts, it is possible to become as sociable as your extrovert counterpart.
But it all depends on you and the amount of effort you are willing to put in.
And while you are at it, endeavor to socialize only for the right reasons, which remains necessary for your nonnegotiable peace and freedom.
