According to the largest study on rest, 18, 000 people from 134 different countries were questioned to consider (among other things) whether rest impacts a person’s health and overall wellbeing.
The research shows that it isn’t just introverted who considers alone time as a restful activity, but that extroverts also value their alone time
This means that both introverts and extroverts voted alone time to be more restful than being in the company of others.
This research is also known as the ‘The Rest Test.’
Another study conducted in Finland shows that both introverts and extroverts find it draining and tiring to socialize with other people.
This simply means that the need for some alone time isn’t unique to introverts.
However, it is safe to conclude that introverts by their nature and setup need more alone time when compared to extroverts.
In this article, we shall understand why Introverts need some alone time, what happens when they are denied their alone time, and the amount of alone time they need to function.
Why Do Introverts Need Alone Time?
Introverts need alone time to process and recharge themselves especially after socializing.
Where they are denied this alone time, they tend to experience social burnout which can be counterproductive to them and those around them.
We must understand that when introverts desire some time alone, it is usually not because they don’t value our company but because solitude is necessary for their emotional and social balance.
Research shows that our nervous system has two modes:
The sympathetic mode which is also called “full throttle” puts us in a state of flight or fight.
We are alert and ready for action as our pressure and heart rate increase.
The parasympathetic side of us which is also known as the “rest and digest” side makes us feel calm and inwardly focused.
This mode conserves the energy in the body and helps us withdraw from the environment.
As a result, energy is stored, our muscles relax, and our blood pressure and heart rate slow down.
Introverts by nature, thrive when on parasympathetic mode which explains their constant desire for alone time.
However, their desire for some quiet activities away from others should not be mistaken for a moody or antisocial behavior.
Understand that this desire is a psychological need for them which when deprived can lead to:
- Decreased productivity
- Concentration difficulty
- Fatigue
- Physical and mental exhaustion
- Irritability
- Increased anxiety
- Depression
This shows that the productivity level of an introvert is negatively affected when they are denied the much-desired time alone.
This consequently results in overstimulation leading to things like poor work quality, missed deadlines, social anxiety, or in worst cases, depression!.
So, to ensure an introvert performs optimally, it is important to allow them to get the much-needed rest which could lead to better productivity.
Now, with this understanding, here are 6 things that happen when introverts fail to get some alone time.
What Happens When Introverts Don’t Get Alone Time
Increased anxiety or anger
When introverts are denied that alone time, they start to feel overly anxious or angry when in social situations.
This happens usually when their social energy is low which could make talking to that Bartender at the Bar an almost impossible task.
They may also pace around at the thought of making that important phone call that they were energized and ready to make just some days ago.
They also become even more vulnerable to negative thoughts and messages from others
Related: How to Overcome Social Anxiety Fast
Concentration difficulty
Another sign that shows that an introvert needs alone time can be found in their inability to focus on the task at hand.
This, therefore, leads to poor work quality, failure to meet deadlines, or missing that very important business meeting.
When their social battery is low, they tend to be more exposed to distractions with little or no willingness to fight back.
This means they would rather spend time doing things that are less demanding or requires little or no concentration to execute.
For example, reading a book, watching T.V, shopping online, listening to music, or playing that favorite game.
Unresponsive to anything
As an introvert, it is not unusual to experience mood swings especially when out in public.
A classic scenario is one of an introvert feeling all lively at the party in the first minutes, but just an hour later, their social energy reduces and they just want to go home!.
At this stage, nothing excites or interests them anymore, not even the sight of a grandma doing the breakdance!.
It’s useless to try to talk them into staying a little longer as the only thing on their mind is to get away from the crowd as quickly as possible.
Even where we can convince them to stay for a while, you will typically find them stuck in a corner drinking, eating, or just zombie-in all through the party.
This is not the best time for a stranger to walk up to them for a chat.
Also, It can be a little difficult for them to escape a fun crowd as that might make them look anti-social or uncool in public eyes.
However, when you find your friend making such a quick transition from ‘excitement’ to ‘boredom’, just understand that they have reached their social limit, and getting them to go further would only make matters worse for them and others.
Emotional or mental exhaustion
When introverts fail to get that much-desired time alone, they consequently become mentally and emotionally tired to function.
They easily get stressed out even when all they’ve done all day was sit in that chair.
It can be more challenging to experience mental tiredness making physical exhaustion more preferable.
This is because when you are physically exhausted, it is possible to get the job done and become productive as all you may need after that stressful morning workout is a good rest.
However, when your mind is tired, you may need something more than just rest to recover.
When emotionally exhausted, introverts tend to disconnect from social media and also avoid contact with friends, family, and even colleagues at the workplace.
For introverts, the best cure for overcoming this mental tiredness is by getting some quiet and alone time.
They self isolate
Introverts would normally isolate themselves where they have been overstimulated.
As a result, they stop engaging with others and try to find solace in the quiet empty corner of the room.
Isolation of this nature isn’t only common in parties but also in the classroom and workplace.
This is particularly worse where they are unfamiliar with the faces around (extroverts) since they just aren’t ready to meet fake friends or make small talk.
The consequence of not having someone of like mind around them increases their desire for some alone time.
Depression
This is probably the worst!
Research already shows that introverts thrive in and enjoy alone time since the reward from socializing is of less importance to them.
This, therefore, means that where they are denied such alone time, they are likely to experience some level of depression.
This situation of denying an introvert that alone time and expecting them to be happy can be likened to beating a child and expecting them not to cry!.
Understand that their quiet time allows them to regain their lost energy and function optimally in their environment.
Now that we’ve learned what happens when Introverts are denied alone time, let’s now look at the amount of time they need to function well.
How much alone time does an introvert need?
The average amount of alone time needed by an introvert to experience a high sense of well-being is 5-6 hours daily. 68 percent of people( including extroverts) report having gotten (on average) only 3 hours of rest the previous day. This is according to “The Rest Test”.
Conclusion
Introverts are unique beings that must be understood in the best way possible.
Understand that their desire for alone time sometimes has nothing to do with others as it is simply a non-oral medication needed to function effectively and efficiently.
